Scrapbook

2/25/2013
Hello again..
I have a qestion to ask here..
Why do people judge?
Well, I know...
because they don't have something that the person being judged about have...
All they care about, themselves and how people think of them..
seriously?
That what you care...
Pathetic..
before judging everyone love yourself please...
you have no right to go to people's lifes and judging them
Basically what I am saying they are jealious...
they are jealious that they don't have what it takes to be loved
they tend to say rumors just to be loved...
Well, sometimes telling the truth and being strightforward is what you should do...
Trust me being strightforward doesn't hurt than keeping it and pretending that you
nice and all that...
Don't bother doing that..
Let me tell you something that happen to me...
I have this friend of mine; I never realized this until now...
that all what she is trying to do is trying to speparate me from friends..
telling things about them, advising me that they won't care as much as I do...
Really did you care about me, when you hurted me?
You never do!
you never did; it was all fake...
back-stabbing is what you did..
and you don't even feel guilty about it?!
What are you...really
It droves me insane...
experiencing this...
you stole my best friend away from me, someone I known for long
someone who cared so much about me, now its over...
Wow; I don't know what you told about me...
Is that friendship...
first you told me that you won't like that person and you know I loved that person so
much...I told you amazing he was, I told you how he is a great friend...
all what you do, is stoled him from me, telling him stuff...
telling that I am a bitch...well thank you very much...you should know yourself better than
that...well about him changing the way he talked with me;
I GAVE YOU A CHANCE TO CHANGE THAT
Did you...
NEVER!
you kept going and going...
First the confession...
I pushed that away; but it was stabbing me in the heart...
Second...going out with him without even telling me
hiding stuff you did; hiding alot...
you didn't even cared how I feel..
then after a month you told me....
because I told you; let go out with him someday
and you was...
I did..
How? Where? When?!!
that was a slap on my face...
Well she mentioned alot of things she did with him, that I did
is turned off my phone and cried all week
I told her I really don't want to talk you ever because not just because of this
is because you never stopped talking about my friend behind my back
calling them names
you know, just because they are successful and you are not
doesn't make you smarter alright?!
This is all what I have about how you judge people and stabbing them at the back
Don't Judge that what I have to say...

2/23/2013
This month has giving me alot of hard time...
the one I got so attached too, was someone that you will never get
that person was not right for me...
 I did the worse mistake ever giving my whole heart to that person
well I can't say it here, but it actually a change
a change that I will never forget, breaking my heart...but someone pulled me up again
a friend
a dear soul mate of mine
she is everything to me...
Someone who I always dreamed to be with
She is going to be one of my special ones; and  she will be always be a part of me
I known her for a while like three years or four, but she is the right person
the right person to be friend with
she told me to stand on my feet when this person just break my heart
she was there, helping me and making me feel better
and I was there for her as well
I wish 4ever we be 2gether!

2/3/2013
This time I am dealing through  a difficult rough time..
But I will not give up
fight for my dreams
..................................................................
Don't let anyone pulls you away from that dream
no one have the rights to control you
you, yourself
have the right to control not others
trust
trust yourself
Becoming successful is my challenge right now
looking forward to be somebody I always wanted
If I'm struggling..
Ask help..its okay to ask
but at the end your trying your best
and always get revenge for the ones who attacks you
This is a lesson for me
 learning and achiving
I learn to not trust
I learn to work hard
I learn to achieve
I learn to focus
I learn to get what I want by a hand
and no one, who ever they are wether a proffesor or a student..
I'm contolled and I have the right to have my dream..
Dealing with proffesors gave me a hard time in the last semester but I will
prove them wrong and I will get what I want
recived an email from a proffesor threatening me
Srsly? Why? To ask you for help..
What a waste of time dealing with those proffesors
my aim is to prove that I am better than her, I will have a future better than her
I will show her that I can do it
and no proffesors pulls a student's dream away what matter what it takes
they have no right

1/12/2013
Waking up feeling sick after what happen..
but trying to ignore it..
I will be on my own for now and
with my real loved ones, not fake ones..
Glad I'm over with them..
Yesturday you seemed okay when I told you about me not talking to you anymore,
you didn't even cared..
when you did last time for the one you love..
you didn't do the same when I known you for long
Pathetic right..
Yes, I never experienced this before..
I give up on friends..
but glad I have my dear ones..
and I know they are few ones..
but I don't need more <3
I'll be focusing on my studies than thinking over these craps..
you know what's funny, that this person didn't realized after
we ended the phone call..
until this person realized I will leave
anyway I am thankful for what I have now..
and I'm over with them...felt free also

1/11/2013
Waking up feeling great until something just slapped me
right on the face
Getting alot of disappointments lately
Realized thats what life is
and glad I notice it now than later on..
Thats why I felt something different about this person..
That why I was looking for someone else
I was right
and I was stupid for telling secrets and information
decided to be on my own with few of my special ones
like this person who came to me in uni,
I was happy to see this person..
this person is amazing but realized...
friends are problems..
I don't want friends who just keep on dissapointing me..
I rather be on my own..
I knew you never trusted me..
I knew I was a close friend of yours, I am just a friend who you just look up to thats all
Alot of surprises
I give up on friends, and I should stop caring..
I be on my journey and on my own with the ones that truely cares and thinks that
I am part of their life..
not hiding them and not pretending..
I was too honest with them until they slapped me in the face..
This is over..
I'm over with you all..
I am glad I have those who cares
and tells me everything..
Goodbye problems
I have enough!

1/7/2013
A week ago, I met this awesome person..
I was happy for real..
never felt it before
........................................................
yesturday this person came to uni, and saw me..
and seemed really happy..
and enjoyed talking to me..
This was what I always wanted
someone who is honest
careing and loving..
Today this person came again..
we talked and we acted silly together..
we had fun, stayed together for hours..
then, there is this one thing I did
was surprising as well..
but I loved it ..
What a remarakable person..
Made me happy
Made me smile
Made my life so much eaiser..
took all the hurtful emotions away
took the pain as well
everything happen as I wanted
I love it!
I truely deserve this..

1/1/2013
New Year Eve!
I wish everyone to have an amazing year!
2013 will be a blast for everyone
and I'm sure!
Things going to get better..
Hopefully everything I desire will come
true..
I wish everyone a happy night, and wish them good luck
I wish everyone's dreams comes true
I wish my family and friends a happy living
a better health
and me I wish myself to raise up
becoming the top
and I hope I'll achieve my aims
Today I began concetrating at
what I am doing
I had this novel in mind that I have been writing for a year
but I had some issues that made me forget about it
but it solved
I'm working on it just perfectly
I am sure it will be a blast if its going to be published and going to be
the best novel in kuwait
I'm sure its going to be amazing...
I recommend everyone to read it
and I'm sure I'll be an author, not just an author..
a creative, talented author, and a graphic designer
good combination
An Author, and a Graphic designer!
alot of my close ones also mentioned me to become a photographer
because I do take great photos...
Well, its an artistic job..
You need to be creative and talented to be a photographer and graphic designer...
also creative in writing
I'm good with writing...
and I'm sure I'll be famous one day
Hope so!
wish me luck <3

12/312012
Last night was a weirdest complicated night
I had some complicated situation but
I soloved it just fine
..................................................
Then couple of mins I decided to
watch a turkish series
just to make me forget what happen
Which is called "Fariha" she is my twin
but her real name is Leyla Hazal Kaya, a 22 years old turkish actress.
We both are in common but just the birthday, she is scorpio and I'm
a sag..But it doesn't matter, we are alike, we look alike, we think alike, and we
act alike. Its like shes my sister from another mother hehehe
I really want to know her birth history, maybe she is related to me
somehow...
Anyway I started watching the series until i felt sleepy and I went to bed
Suddenly someone told me that there is someone who needs a girl
who is honest
so my friend asked me if I can add him as a friend
so I did, he is a nice person...
so we talked
well we talked a bit..
so then I was really tired so I told him I have to go to bed..
...........................................................................
I woke up this morning, I got a message from him...
telling me good morning..
this is cute!
anyway I was happy that I met him
and that we talked..
we have alot in common..
but now were not talking because I have to study
for my finals..
So I wish to talk to him today before the
New Year!
My sister is hosting a party at her house for the New Year Eve!
Its going to be awesome for sure!
I wish this year will be awesome!
Everything will be as I wanted
Hopefully!

12/30/2012
Last night I had this weirdest dream
but not tellin ;p...
anyway I woke up happy
but still its a weird dream
have you ever had a weird dream?
...............................................
Well its nice to have a weird dream...
but not this kind ;p
there is this dream i always dream about
its amazing
remarkable
dream
taught me how to let go of
my soul
how to fly high
reaching the moon
and the stars
Touching the stars reminds me of you
I see you smiling?
Yeah you are :D
so beautiful
like a flower
so rich
like a diemond
you are?
yes you are..
This is what I always wanted
you beside me
holding my hand
telling me that
I will be alright
tell me all that
I hope you realized
how much I care
and willing to do
everything just for you
Please notice it
Please notice how a great friend I am
I really hope you notice it one day
hope your reading this too
wishing you all the best
<3

12/29/2012
This morning woke up realizing what on earth
am I doing up so late
I haven't studied yet?
Well, I actually did
being a complete nerd
Today I began doing my graphic design project
which is digitial photography
I took pictures of flowers, which i will will be posting right now
later....
My heart began to beat fast, my older brother told me you go to the
hospital. I told him bro, No I'm fine, the doctor won't do me good..
He said then let me hear your heart beat..
He did
It was beating so fast, he told me drink water then
you'll be fine, like you said
I did
I felt better an hour ago
thank you
I realized I should take care of myself
not the ones who are around me
I will make myself into a complete different person
not around me
no one is responsible for who i am now
today
learn a lesson
helping?
caring?
loving?
will be
over
for the ones
who don't deserve my
kindess
You don't want help?
Okay..
you don't like me?
I don't wake up everyday to impress you dear, I was just doing my job as a friend
You don't want that
Okay I will stop
not cause you told me too
is because I told myself
what a waste of time
waste of time caring about you
why not care about myself
alright
I do
I do care about myself more than anyone in the world
I'm selfish but its depends on the person
at home I am myself
why can I just be myself with you all?
alright I will be just myself..
funny, and exciting
this is me
no less no more
I know what I am
and What i will be
this is it...
I stepped on my heart
telling myself
to look up stright
to view things as simple
looking forward to my achievements
ability to work hard
this is me
the hardworker
the talented
the intelligent
the grapher
student
who
will step on her feet
to make everyone around her
proud!
here are the flowers that i took!

12/28/2012
There is.... this band that inspired me now
Black Veil Brides
The Vocalist-Andy Biersack <3
What an amazing Vocalist, everything about him is
just amazing. He is born in December 26 1990. He is now officially 22 <3
I did this for him....

He is an American musican and songwriter. His full name is 

Andrew Dennis Biersack. His Mom is Amy Biersack and his dad is chris Biersack.

What a wonderful family, he is the only child. He was actually born in Milwaukee but moved to Cincinnati, Ohio. When he was young he was called a faggot and emo cause of the way he dressed and I'm sure he had his rough days. I know this, cause I have been called also an Emo, which I am actually not. Just because we like the style and we listen to these kind of music it doesn't mean were emo. So I really recommend the students to stop bulling. So okay back to Andy, ;p

I would like to say a word for Andy...

"Andy...Your the reason that I'm smiling now, your the reason I'm myself now, I look forward to met you one day and wish you the best always"

I hope one day he can realize this, as I read in other sites...said "Is your daughter obessed about Andy"

my answer is yesh I am...hhhhhh

Your just remarkable!

Here are more pictures of him, Enjoy!

12/23/2012

Woked up in the early morning...
exploring what's new..
listening to the sound of music...
Realized that I should play along as the world is..
Need to explore the world and what concerns me..
the abilities, the responsibilities, the needs, the accomplishment,
and the Desertedness..
are my concerns..
but..
right now is what stands in between...
the future..
is what I need to achieve..
I know I'm stuck..
its okay..
I'm bringing myself up again..
its normal..
but sometimes, people around me just makes it worse..
but I decided to ignore..
and focus more on myself than them..
I changed into a complete person..
a person who is achiving the future..
a person looking forward to be the best and the best..
I'm a new person, but it doesn't mean I changed the way..
the cloth, the talks..but inside me I changed..
so please don't ask me if I am different..cause I will be if you are :)